Wednesday

I'm not sure how long I can continue to do what I'm doing. This thought reoccurs every couple weeks or so. The problem is all of the emotions and things in life I am working through, and if they are specific to this one person or apply to all men in general.

My most recent revelation is that it is uncomfortable to be with someone whom I haven't known for most of my/his life. Other relationships have been with people I grew up or we were at the same university. The idea that I will not know a person's life at least 25 plus years is just strange. The older we get the larger the amount of time will be that life has passed without knowing who this person is/was before. Maybe I focus too much on the past. I just always wanted to do things in order (ha) and be with someone whom I have known. This can be a good and fun thing, but it's scary right now.

There's no way around it now so I should make peace, not worry and just keep going. Still is new though...

Is it Friday yet?

I need an escape.

Saturday morning cannot come soon enough, when I can board a plane and be on my way to my two best friends, my sisters. It's been such a long time since we have all been in the same place. My soul will be restored a bit more just by being in their presence.

This week is a week where either a large amount of ice cream and or good drink is necessary. Okay, that or maybe a lot of prayer and working my inner thoughts out with the Lord.

Everything is in question. My work, my goals, where I want to be, the boy...

Part of me hopes that the power of the three of us together can unravel all of our problems we are dealing with, past and current, and so I can come back and have clear direction. Lofty of me?

But despite all that feels unsettled in my life I am happy and thankful I have not one, but TWO friends who know me inside and out. Thank you Jesus for K and M.