The Enema of Love

Watching (500) Days of Summer made me think about love. The film touched on basic truths like romantic comedies create a false reality that people can never recreate in their daily lives. If your love life is like a romantic comedy then I give you mad props. The only time that I have had a relationship close to what I see in the movies, complete compatibility it turned out that that person did not think of me romantically at all. So when I exposed my heart like that it just killed the friendship. Because really that all it was. I was just confused. You have to think if its this good then it must be love. But it wasn't. This was the first time I think that I experienced true heart break. It took months to get over. Now that I am better and am in love, I look back on that time with confusion. Sometimes when I see him my heart still races, but its not attraction, at least not physically. We never had that. It made me sick to my stomach to think of him in that way and now and then he writes me or I see him and he says how he misses me. I want to be friends, but pride keeps us apart. I think on both sides. I look at my love now and I think how confused I have been. He isn't going to open to adventure or doing random things, but he loves me with a desperation that makes me shiver now just thinking about it. The same hunger I see in his eyes are reflected back in mine. Is that love? There are things about him that I wish I could change, but then he would not be him. So I love him for all his flaws. Some of them even make me laugh. Lord knows that I am not flawless, although he would like to think so. Is is bad to say that his desperation for me makes me happy. Its like I know how much he loves me. I hope those feelings never change. All though most do. Its weird that as a society we still try to make marriage work even though its been proven to fail. Its like we need the constant in the equation. It provides stability. We may not know what a and b are, but the equal sign will always be there. I love to love him and I love watching our relationship grow and change. He is mine and I am his. forever.