I am so frustrated with life and love right now. It's my life. I should have some control over it, but when it comes to love I feel powerless. I love someone that says he loves me back, but for some reason there is something inside of him and maybe inside of all of us that is trying to destroy our love. The only thing I can think of why you would destroy your own happiness is FEAR. Fear that love does not exist and that no one is truly happy. Happiness is a state of mind. So I can choose to be happy no matter what. I could lie to myself and say that the other person I love is happy and being faithful and therefore making me happy. You want to propose but you can't help flirting with other women and keeping old relationships open for possibilities. You tell me I am the one you want to build a life with which makes me laugh out loud to keep from crying when I see that you have been leading other women on who say they miss you and elude to other things. WHAT DO YOU WANT? If you don't want me then just let me go. I nor anyone else should settle or except excuses that the other is trying to be faithful but its really hard. Its hard because you make it hard. I don't go out flirt with other people and then hit them up on Facebook to continue the dangerous game of who is going to make a move. But I could be that girl. Just like you could be that guy that does not play with other women's emotions just so you can say that you are a player and pimp. And don't feed me that bullshit that you can't be mean to anyone and you don't like to hurt people's feelings. That is total horseshit. But you will never hear any of these. I believe things will play out the way they are meant to. So if you are false, your true nature will come out. You can't hid who you are forever. Until that day, I love you.
