Dazed and Confused

I wrote a poem once, that started off I go through life without drive. Well I have the drive now and I don't feel lost, but then I do. The past week or so I have just been wandering through life. But that does not make the experience any less, I am just more easily amazed by things. Like I'll be driving and be like wow how did I end up here. Totally out of it. LOL Its such a funny thing. I don't really care about anything. Its like a smoked a big bag of chiba, like in one of my favorite movies Dazed and Confused, and have no ambition or concern about anything. When things don't go my way, like getting the assignments I want or getting my camera out of repair on time, I don't care. I am just oddly, blissfully, happy. Its weird. I don't think I have ever felt like this. Its our euphoria! I think I have clinically gone insane. You think I would be distraught right now, considering that I can not get the one guy I like to call me. But I am not. I am content. The best way that I can describe it is what spazz told me on the phone. I was telling her about how I was giving him space and myself as well so I could be strong in my decision to leave him alone. She said its like I was looking at a reflection of myself in a pool of water, but I couldn't see myself because there were rocks that were being thrown into the pond causing ripples. Once I stopped interacting with him and gave myself time to think, I could start to really see myself and what I really want. I thought that was a good analogy.

I think one main reason why I am so happy is because the weather has changed. It rained all day yesterday, which I really liked. I had my window open while I listened to the light drizzle and felt the humidity in the air. Today it is wonderfully sunny. How could I not be happy. I have never enjoyed the sun so much in my life. I took for granted all these years, but now that I live in Michigan, I savor it like a crisp, ripe pineapple. Can't complain. Life is good. P.S.- If you have not seen dazed and confused you should definitely check it out. One of my all time favs. Makes me wish I was 17 in 1979. I really was born in the wrong lifetime. I have an old soul. :~)